If you’re wondering how I’m going to connect a perfect jammy egg to an embodied ho … just bear with me.
First thing is first. What the hell is an “embodied ho?”
Let me start here -
Entering the world as a newly single 33 year old woman on her healing journey, I’ve been getting a lot of advice on what the hell to do next. And I’m getting my advice from a carefully selected committee of (1) my girlfriends, (2) Bell Hooks, and (3) the characters of Sex and the City.
(1) My friends are telling me to trust myself and follow what feels good.
(2) Bell Hooks is telling me to be open to a new relationship because we actually can heal better through relationships than alone.
(3) Samantha is telling me to sleep around, have fun, get mine, and not put weight on a man making me happy.
And so….I have decided to take a little bit of all of their advice.
I think in the best case scenario, you break up with someone and it forces you to look within yourself: what do you really want? what do you really not want? what are your boundaries? who are you actually?
IMO, it’s an opportunity to go deeeeeep into yourself and open up those wounds (even though I am *sure* it is more fun to just pretend they aren’t there and go back on your bullshit). And let me tell you - I have gone deeeeeeep within these last few months.
I’ve noticed people are very uncomfortable talking about breakups. Months later, I still am approached by acquaintances with the “I’m soooooooooo sorry……” with that sad inflection in their voice and I find myself trying to make them feel better about the whole thing. And don’t get me wrong, I know it is coming from a place of love and support and I very much appreciate it the concern and care.
But.
Can we normalize telling someone “CONGRATULATIONS” when they break up with someone? Because yes, it’s sad, and there is certainly a grieving process that needs to be honored, but at the end of the day, you got yourself out of a relationship that wasn’t aligned. You trusted your intuition - and you chose to walk into the dark night alone without any idea of what your life will look like without that person you built a life with for so long. It’s fucking scary, and for that reason alone is why many stay in unfulfilling relationships.
So can we go on an celebrate this brave step?
At least for me, I feel so completely changed from deciding to leave a relationship that wasn’t working for me. The pure act of choosing myself and deciding I was worthy was the single most transformational moment of my life. And I noticed, once I chose myself, even though the process was certainly incredibly painful - things also really started to open up for me. I’m talking friends, family, career, creativity. I’ve never felt more like the truest version of myself.
Last week, I had an epiphany. I’m ready to start this new chapter of my life. A chapter that isn’t associated with the life I had with my ex. And a chapter that isn’t even defined as someone who has just broken up with someone. A chapter that really isn’t defined by men at all. This chapter is about me.
And here we are now taking advice from the girls (my friends, Bell Hooks, and Sex and the City).
It looks like asking myself what feels good and going for it.
It looks like not being afraid to fall in love again because I actually think I can continue to heal in a new relationship.
And that also looks like seeing dating as fun and exciting.
And this, my friends, is what I call - the embodied ho era.
She knows where she comes from and honors that history, she knows what she likes and doesn’t like, she jiggles in all the right places and likes to show it off, and she is comfortable in any bed she lies in as long as she is comfortable with herself. She is a bad bitch.
Just like - the perfect jammy egg.
(see - I told you I’d connect eggs to being a ho!)
The jammy egg is an icon.
I cook a lot of jammy eggs because they are delicious, the perfect lil’ protein addition, easy and quick to prepare, and taste good on so many things like rice, bread, ramen, and veggies.
You can dress her simply with some flaky salt and pepper. You can also dress her up for a night on the town with things like sesame oil, za’tar, fried garlic, etc. - she’s dynamic and down for an adventure!
All’s to say, I’m really respecting this egg and I think everyone should too.
I know this is not an elaborate recipe I’m sharing this week - BUT - I firmly believe that you can make a perfect jammy egg, you can really level up so many of your food experiences.
Just like if you know yourself and trust yourself - you really can start to level up your life….and have some fun while you do it ; )
Which is also the perfect segue to announce something fun I’m starting with my bff Jesse, aka Dr. Walker, aka writer of Mixt Feelings!
Jesse and I have reaaaaally dialed into a lot of feelings together in the midst of some major individual and collective life moments. One day we’ll write a Freaky Friday spin-off where two best friends - a single 30 something year-old living in the big city and her married, new mom counterpart, switch places for a day… But for now, a podcast will have to do!
Maybe we’re just obsessed with each other and delusional, but we really believe the ideas that are flowing between us are meant to be shared. We’ve been craving a medium that speaks to us – two mixt women who are navigating some real life shit, while remaining steadfastly determined to celebrate sisterhood, self-growth and full-frontal (as in nudity and unrestrained) joy.
Plus One is a snapshot into this time of our lives - as we navigate being in our 30s, dating, motherhood, friendship, break ups, break downs, the patriarchy, family dynamics, distance, career confusions, identity questions, and so many mixed feelings (nbd).
Expect to cry. Expect to laugh. Expect to feel like you’re at an adult slumber party with your best friends.
Episodes will drop weekly on The Mixt Feelings Substack, starting mid-February. Now excuse us while we figure out how to produce a podcast between now and mid-February… Are you as excited as we are??? Hope so!
The Perfect Jammy Egg
aka the 6 1/2 min egg
Fill a saucepan with enough water that would cover your egg.
Bring to a boil.
Gently lower the egg into the water.
Set timer for 6 1/2 minutes.
Prepare an ice bath: fill a bowl with ice and water.
At 6 1/2 minutes, remove the egg from the pot with a slotted spoon and gently lower into the ice bath.
Let cool for about 5 minutes.
Peel the egg.
Slice and serve - I like to top with flaky salt, pepper.
If I’m making a rice bowl, I’ll top it some sesame oil and furiake. If I’m making an avo toast, I’ll top it with EVOO and za’atar. Get creative!
Love you, mean it.
xo
Tessa
Bravo!!!!!! So looking forward to more Sobremesa's in this form and the Podcast!!! Damn girl, you really got it! 🥰
Congratulations on your new adventures!!! Can't wait to figure out how to listen to it...im not a podcaster follower so far, but yours sounds like an awesome adventure to follow...