The Sobremesa 15.

all about my love of creating and sharing food...and what's next.

Happy holidays, friends, and congratulations for almost making it to the end of 2020!

how aesthetically pleasing is this? ok, now that we got that out of the way…moving on…

Last week was my birthday, and I spent the day (a) making a birthday cake and (b) reflecting on the year / setting intentions for the next year. I wasn’t exactly throwing a bday bash this year, so I had a lot of time of my hands….

Buckle up for some of my reflections - I wanted to focus on good ole’ thoughts and feelings this week, so there isn’t a recipe here!

2020, man. ‘Nuff said. But, in this wild year, I started to slowly uncover all the small rituals that could bring me a spot of joy. In order to uncover these joys, I actually had to unlearn the things I used to think were the main ways to bring me joy, being that I obviously could not do them anymore in a pandemic: like dancing in a sweaty packed party, taking a exotic trip, getting that table at the hot new restaurant.

I uncovered that I could put on a song in my kitchen and dance with myself. I uncovered that I could call a friend and have an exotic trip into her thoughts and feelings. And finally, I uncovered that I could cook for myself and make my kitchen the hot new restaurant in town.

putting on booty-poppin’ music while I baked really made everything taste sweeter : )

My first big lesson this year, is that I actually LOVE to cook. Believe it or not, I didn’t cook that much pre-COVID. Sure, I spent my whole life helping in the kitchen and running around the back of house of the restaurants. I loved hosting the occasional dinner party. But I was mostly behind the scenes, watching others create dishes. Also, because I’m an operational nerd and social butterfly, I really loved spending time in front of house. I was so busy making sure everyone else was being served, that I never really let myself get curious and adventurous with food.

It started with a mere nostalgia to recreate the dishes I grew up with. And then it grew into a curiosity of trying other recipes. I started to read cookbooks, front to back. I subscribed to the NYTimes Cooking app (my first app I actually ever paid for!) I tried cooking with whole new flavors. I found myself starting to think about food all day long. I would be in the shower and an idea would pop in my head like what if you tried adding tahini to your chocolate chip cookie recipe? or what about turmeric roasted veggies? or what about a golden milk latte milkshake?

And full disclosure, not everything I’ve tried making this year actually tasted good (would not recommend the banana upside down cake…) And that was okay! It was the adventure along the way that I was craving. I could see my taste buds developing and I was able to sense that next time I tried the recipe, I needed to add more salt, or use less sugar, or try cooking down the roux more.

The unknown was EXCITING and I felt myself bursting with creativity for the first time in awhile. I couldn’t wait to make my next recipe. I couldn’t wait for the moment I’d stick the fork in and take a taste. And equally, if not more exciting than taking that first bite, was sharing the treat with others.

I was constantly pushing food down my pod’s throats, I was bringing packed goodies to my neighbors. I was excited to make “no reason” a special occasion.

I made little invitations to dinner parties….for just my pod of 4 people.

It was here that I learned my second big lesson: that the simple act of sharing food could give both me and someone else so much joy. And this is why I started this newsletter - because I wanted to be able to share this feeling with more people. This was actually a big and scary step for me. My first thoughts were “who even cares?” and “why bother, Alison Roman is doing it better anyway.” But with the help of some friends, I realized that I shouldn’t let fear restrict me from doing what I love the most. And wow, I am SO glad I pushed through those negative thoughts. This newsletter has been the highlight of my year! As soon as I’d hit publish on one week, I’m already dreaming up the next week.

And as I’ve been going down this path of spreading joy through cooking, I’ve discovered a new reflection.

What about all of those who can’t just run to their closest grocery store, grab all the ingredients they need, and make these recipes that I was dreaming up in the shower?

I really started to recognize my own privilege that I was even able to do these seemingly simple things with food.

Some food insecurity facts:

• An estimated 1.5 million New Yorkers cannot afford food.

• In the seven months since the pandemic began, people made nearly 12 million visits to New York City food pantries, a 36 percent jump compared with the same time last year, according to City Harvest.

• These numbers will continue to grow as we hit crazy COVID spikes in NYC and across the country.

I was ashamed to think of all those times I turned the other way when driving past insanely long food bank lines. I pushed the feelings aside because I just didn’t want to think about it. Why? Of course, it’s uncomfortable to think about it and overwhelming to think of what we could possibly do to help. Everything is just so f*cked anyway, right? But that’s just the easy way out.

As a launching point, I listened to this episode of the Daily following a NYC food bank for the day. Storytelling is such a powerful way to resonate with other experiences and perspectives. This episode both jolted and moved me. I highly recommend it.

The main reason I love food so much is because it’s such a joyful human connector. We all technically need food to survive, but food means so much more to humans than just fuel.

It’s Sobremesa - it’s dancing around the kitchen while you cook, seeing the cake brown in the oven just right, watching your friend take the first bite and their eyes go wide. It’s the magic around the dinner table - the inside jokes that make you cry with laughter, the political conversations that rile you up, the existential discussions that make you ponder tough things like death, your partner’s hand on your knee that make you feel so loved and safe.

Those who are experiencing food insecurity and need to go to a food bank to get their sustenance already have a barrier to enter Sobremesa. So instead of spending all day dreaming up all the food they’re going to cook, they’re standing in line for 5 hours to get whatever is handed to them. Instead of getting the tahini they needed to make their grandmothers’ hummus for a special family dinner, they’re getting a can of black beans.

But no matter what, even with that barrier, humans are still making magic around food - and that gives me some hope. This article that follows New Yorkers cooking at home with the food they got from their food bank really reminded me that humans can create joy even with very little.

But the first step is to make sure we can all have access to food.

So, to start, I donated to Breaking Bread, a volunteer-run organization, striving to feed the community and fuel the movement for positive change by delivering healthy meals to NY communities facing oppression, inequality, and food insecurity while supporting local, BIPOC-owned businesses. My donation will support a New Yorker through the end of Winter (yay!)

There’s so much more work to be done. But the first (and easiest) things we can do is (a) acknowledge our privilege in relation to food, (b) educate ourselves on the facts, and (c) donate to local organizations already combatting food insecurity.

Remember when I said that my biggest takeaway from this year was that the simple act of sharing food could give both me and someone else joy? Don’t we all deserve this feeling, even if we can’t afford the food? So, the least I can do is share a donation that will give someone access to healthy food. And while I’m not going to pretend to know all the answers just yet, I want to try to learn more and do more.

In the meantime, my intention for the 2021 is to continue to cook and share my love for Sobremesa, research food insecurity issues, and dream up additional impactful solutions. I don’t know exactly what it looks like yet, but I would love to hear your thoughts and suggestions! Please! I’m excited to share with you my ideas in the New Year and have you along for the journey.

Thank you all for reading. Your support has meant so much to me this year. I’m so excited to cook with you more in 2021!

Be well, smile at a stranger on the street and thank your postal workers.

Happy holidays and Happy New Year.

Love ya mucho,

Tessa