what i ate when i rested

...even though my rest was virus induced

Welp. The ‘rona got me last week.

Remember covid? I feel like she had her last big appearance in December of 2021 (I actually got omicron for my birthday AND xmas that year … sigh….*memories*).

She sorta drifted away….. and so when I woke up with a scratchy throat I thought..must just be allergies. But then I woke up in the middle of the night was those familiar sweats, fever, and splitting headache…..

Oh god.

Once I saw that double line on the test strip, one of my first thoughts was I hope I don’t lose my sense of taste and then if I’m was going to feel like shit the next week, at least I’m going to eat good food. I immediately placed a huge grocery delivery order so I could buckle down for the next 5-7 days. I was supposed to have a girls trip with my bestie, which was quickly cancelled. My man was out of town for work. So, it was just me and the rona.

I really can’t remember the last time I was so debilitated. Over the past few years, sure I had a cold from time to time, but I could always still work at least a little. FYI - I’m someone who is *always* working. Like even a “day off” or “vacation””” I’m at least keeping up with emails in fear that I’ll get too behind if I don’t.

So, like a tick, I’d go to check my email and then my eyes would literally start burning. And ‘rona would be like, “girl,….. just stop.”

So what did I do? I watched every single episode of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making The Team and Season One of Gilmore Girls (not sure how that didn’t not burn my eyes???) while curled up with at least 5 pillows and fluffy down blanket wrapped around my body.

I sat outside and watched the birds. I saw a cardinal, a blue jay, AND a robin (how long have they been hanging out there for!?) I closed my eyes and listened to the sound of the wind blowing the leaves of the trees (who knew there were so many trees in Brooklyn?!).

I slept for random spurts in the middle of the weekdays (the WORKDAYS!!)

It was virus-induced rest. That was apparently much needed. And even though I was sick, it felt sooo good to just rest and see where it would lead me.

But every day, I would muster all the energy I had to justtttt to cook one delicious thing per day.

Now, here’s my philosophy around what to eat when you’re sick. I’m no doctor, so this certainly not scientifically backed, but I firmly believe in the balance of “healthy” and “soulful.”

Healthy is nutrient rich, whole foods, that are as homemade as possible. I avoid dairy (increases mucus production) and sugar (suppresses immune system).

But, let’s remember. You also feel like shit so what’s going to make your soul feel good? Enter “soulful” foods.

Here is my COVID food diary of the week:

DAY ONE

• Breakfast: honestly, I had a nap for breakfast.

• Lunch: I immediately got out my reserve chicken bone broth ingredients. I always keep a bag of veggie scraps, herbs, and chicken bones in my freezer. It’s kind of my "BREAK IN CASE OF EMERGENCY” stash for when I get sick. I cover the ingredients with water in a big pot, and let it simmer all day. Then, discard the veggies / bones and am left with a gorgeous chicken bone broth, which I sip on in a big cozy mug.

  

• Dinner: Turmeric, Ginger, Lemon, and Chicken Rice Soup with the homemade broth. Put on Gilmore Girls. I’ve never seen Gilmore Girls because I thought it was dumb when I was a teenager, but alas, I can only handle dumb shows right now..

  

  DAY TWO

• Breakfast: Black coffee and Baked&Wired hippie crack granola and oat milk (coffee can’t be good for me during this time, but I am sure i will feel WORSE if I don’t have my daily cup which I have started my day with for the past 15 years).

  

• Lunch: Sip on bone broth, and 5 episodes into Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, I think that if I didn’t have COVID, I could totally do Thunderstruck. Make mental note to try once I recover. (This of course, is delusional).

• Dinner: Make Mom’s Weeknight Spaghetti: aka browned beef with Rao’s jarred Arrabiata tomato sauce. Of course homemade tomato sauce and meatballs would be amazingggg right now - but let’s be realistic here. This does the trick with 1/4 of the work.

  

  Put this bowl back on my belly to see what Rory and Lorelei are chatting about.

DAY THREE

• Breakfast: Black coffee and my signature blueberry, banana, date, almond butter smoothie.

  

• Lunch: Eyeing this leftover chicken breast in my fridge and get a craving for fried chicken sandwich, which I channel into make a Chicken Cutlet Sandwich with Kewpie Pesto Mayo, Onion, and Little Gem Lettuce. Soulful but also sorta healthy? Wish I had a nice slice of heirloom tomato to really seal the deal. Reminisce how I ate heirloom tomatoes all day, every day, last summer when I lived with a Nonna in Sicily.

  

• Dinner: Eat leftover Weeknight Spaghetti in a bowl on my belly while I watch Gilmore Girls and marvel at how I’m actually older than Lorelei, who had a full sixteen year old girl in season 1. Damn, spaghetti always tastes better the next day.

• Dessert: Mr. Softee truck goes by and I’m sad for a sec, but remember that sugar is not good for me right now. I have a cup of peppermint tea instead. Sorta works!

DAY FOUR

• Breakfast: congestion going down so I decide to reintroduce a bit of dairy : I make a chia pudding with oat milk and greek yogurt and top it with fresh berries.

• Lunch: Remix the leftover chicken cutlet into a SALAD - little gem, cherry tomato, avocado, pesto Cesar dressing, sprouts and hemp seed.

  

• Dinner: Za’atar Salmon with Roasted Japanese Sweet Potato and salted french butter and sautéed garlic kale. Admire how pretty it looks on the plate.

  

  DAY FIVE

• Feeling better, and NEGATIVE COVID test!…… But I’m still feeling exhausted, and I read that the covid fatigue could last several more days….

I’m technically free to enter the world, but I still feel this immense pull to keep RESTING.

Coincidentally, I started a book a few weeks ago called “Rest is Resistance.” And I realize how much grind culture is steeped into my system. From living in America, from growing up in the food industry, from being an entrepreneur - “grind” is celebrated. How hard can you work to achieve your goals? How little sleep can you go on? How much can you push through an illness and get r’ done anyway? We’re told that this is the only way to make it in America. But Tricia Hersey provides the reframe that Rest is not a luxury, but resistance against grind culture.

What we have internalized as productivity has been informed by a capitalist, ableist, patriarchal system. Our drive and obsession to always be in a state of “productivity” leads us to the path of exhaustion, guilt, and shame. We falsely believe we are not doing enough and that we must always be guiding our lives toward more labor.

She argues that even the idea of rest is weaponized against us as a means to get energy back just so we can get back into the grind.

Last week, as I was forced to rest through illness, I was really confronted to my addiction to grind. That I could only truly rest when I had a debilitating illness.

“We must believe we are worthy of rest. We don’t have to earn it. It is our birthright. It is one of our most ancient and primal needs.”

But when I eased into rest and embraced it (and got over some of my more severe covid symptoms), I had space to D R E A M and follow my J O Y S.

Which is why I gravitated towards watching the birds, and listening to the sound of the wind in the trees. And especially…. to cook.

I found it so interesting that even though I didn’t have much energy this week, I would muster all the energy I had to cook for myself. Just for me. It was a sacred experience that I looked forward to and cherished every second of. And for someone who cooks for money, what a reminder that my joy is so strong and still so resistant to the grips of grind culture. And while I will continue to exchange money for this service (rent ain’t goin’ pay itself), the money will never take that joy away from me. Food and I will always love each other, outside of the confines of capitalism, and especially when I’m resting.

I’ve always loved this newsletter as a space to express myself, share new insights, and most of all - share my joy for cooking. It’s my hope that not necessarily that you’ll pick up the whisk and get your ass into the kitchen, but that you might be inspired to find what really lights you the fuck up and follow it with tender reverence.

In case you needed this reminder (and trust me, I need it all the time) : you don’t need to grind to follow your dreams. Your dreams and joys are right there patiently waiting for you, and always have been. With prioritizing rest, trust me, you’ll find the space to pursue them.

While I’m in the clear with covid, and back on my emails, I’m still giving myself space to REST. Because…..it’s my damn right to rest whenever the fuck I feel like it. And when I rest, I come back to myself.

While there’s no new recipe in this newsletter, I did include links from past newsletters for some of the meals I made this week. Follow those recipes…or don’t! Because in the spirit of dreaming - if you love to cook, I encourage you to follow you heart to the kitchen and cook what feels good. Cook whatever will make you put your phone down. Cook what will make you cozy up and listen to the wind in the trees. Cook whatever will make you curl up and binge on Gilmore Girls.

Rest, baby. You deserve it.

xox

-Tessa

resting and…recently engaged!!! ; )